Lapdance with Guru

by The Brothers Zoto

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Lapdance with Guru is the compendium album to Holiday with Genie. Recorded six years later, in 2012, it addresses similar issues with mechanical instruments verses mechanical playing and singing. This record is less minimal in its instrumentation and mixing, letting all layers (drum machine, tape loops, organ, and vocals) to emerge and have an active part in the finished songs.

Original liner notes by Neal J. Wilson:

'You see', the inquisitor said [turning on the radio], 'Everything not lost in the fire will be sold by weight if it is not visibly charred and it passes the smell test. Recall that there are natural cycles at work. All the possessions you do not personally throw away will be resold, on average, 1.8 times. What you [do] throw away will be resold 0.4 times. Big becomes small. In the same place small becomes heavy and not small any longer. Shelves are built on top and then it sits undisturbed by the windows while the remodel goes on around it. Striking the nail, the hammers sing. Do you know who still uses hammers?'
Emma didn't understand what he was getting at. 'Everything left behind has been used as raw material.'
She implored him, 'It has been our oil-well. These instruments were designed to stand in for their unwieldy siblings but they too were replaced. More effective, less expensive, easier to maintain, simpler emulators still emerge from the engineer's lab. The organ Grandma bought when Aunt C.C. was in high school rests in the basement. It is dusted twice (sometimes three) times a month and hasn't been plugged in since we were in middle school.
The inquisitor raised a finger to his lips. 'Shhhhhhhh.' He turned up volume.
“Some are rapturous, others are just themselves. Everything that rises must converge. Time as a measure of movement, sound as its product. The inevitable music of perspective. Line and its mid-point. The mediocre and the natural music of things. The action of listening. Holiday with Genie (KJEA) has been brought to you by these and other sponsors.”
Turning off the radio the inquisitor continued as follows: 'Do you recognize them, my son? The Brothers Zoto! My dear child, do not be alarmed by what I am going to tell you. We are going to hurt you a little. You see these two boards? Your legs will be placed between them and they will be tied tightly with ropes. Then we will drive these wedges, which you see here, between your legs and they will be hammered into place. At first your feet will swell up, then blood will spurt from your toes and your toenails will drop off. Then the soles of your feet will split open and from them will issue thick gouts of fat and mangled flesh. That will hurt you a great deal. Is that the phone? But I am only talking of the standard torture so far. All this will make you faint. Here we have bottles filled with various spirits to bring you round again. When you have regained your senses the wedges will be taken away and these bigger ones will be put in their place. At the first hammer blow your knees and calves will break. At the second your legs will split open all the way up and a mixture of marrow and blood will flow out onto the straw. Then we apply the thumb screws.'
The torturers grabbed hold of my legs and fastened them between the boards.
The phone rang. 'Hammers at the ready! Answer the phone! Drive in the wedge!'
At that very moment a gunshot was heard and Emma cried, 'Oh Muhammad, we are saved! Zoto has come to rescue us.'
released 04 July 2012

Originally released by MOTHER RUSSIA INDUSTRIES in 2012

All music written and recorded by Shawn Edward Hansen, KJEA radio, and the Imaginary Banjo Player

Oslon XX100 drum machine
Korg Stage Tape Echo
Casio SA7

cover art by Sienna N Jobe
back cover art by Neal J Wilson


released July 4, 2012



all rights reserved


Shawn Edward Hansen Kansas City, Missouri

1984 marks the beginning of Shawn's experiments with the imaginary world and the borders to others when he first broadcast the radio station, KJEA in Kansas City.

He is a product of the BARD school of sound, having studied with Maryanne Amacher, Richard Teitelbaum, and George Lewis among others. Since, he has created music and thought structures along the fringe of the conventional arts.
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